But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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