in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
