every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
