That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I AM VODKA MAN
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
