Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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