never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
