Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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