I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize