my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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