handjob tips. give me some.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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