doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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