Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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