I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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