Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
