You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
