Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize