Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
