Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
