Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize