Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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