what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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