Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
