Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
