Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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