i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
