I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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