i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
