You can't special order awesome
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
