you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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