Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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