Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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