Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
