I showed him my bush... on skype.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
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we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
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I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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