He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
