quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
