i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I love you. Go after that dick
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
