Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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