I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
