i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
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What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
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Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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