Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
