So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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