I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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