matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
