Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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