Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I am available for nakedness
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
