well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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