Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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