i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
love makes seman taste better
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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