So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
