I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
