I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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