She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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