so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
