on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
