on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
