Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
