how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
