Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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