rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
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