Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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